You will need
- 1 torch with batteries
- 1 box matches
- 9 or more candles – 1 for kitchen, 1 for toilet, 3 for lounge, 3 for your porch, 1 to hold
- 1 bottle methylated spirits
- 1 used tuna can, washed
- 1 bottle opener
- 1 oven rack (the type you cool cakes and biscuits on)
- 1 saucepan with pouring spout, filled with water
- 2 yellow pages
- 2 mugs
- 1 box crackers
- 1 small block cheese
- 1/6 straussberg sausage
- 1/4 jar corn relish
- 2 or more guitars
- 1 cat
- Use torch to find candles & matches.
- Light candles; place lit candles in area you will sit in; strategically place unlit candles around home.
- Use your bottle opener to make some holes around the top of the tuna can. These will help the fire get oxygen and keep the metho burning.
- Go out onto your veranda and light some candles. Take stuff listed above out to your porch.
- Fill tuna can with metho – around 3/4 full.
- Put two yellow pages on the ground in a not-very-windy place, with a space in between. Put your tuna can in the gap (make sure the can isn’t too close to the yellow pages).
- Use the yellow pages as a platform for your cake rack – so the rack is elevated above the can.
- Light the metho.
- Place your saucepan over the top. Boil water.
- When water is boiled, make cuppas.
- While water is boiling, cut cheese and sausage and put on a plate. Add crackers and a small bowl of corn relish.
- Eat food, and when water is boiled, drink cuppas.
- Play guitar for extra warmth and entertainment.
- Come inside and cuddle cat occasionally so they don’t feel lonely and left out.
- Try to feel happier about the fact the power went out – on a completely still, perfect night – literally 2 seconds before a gripping running event on TV was about to conclude.
Serves 2; multiply quantities shown for bigger households.
For your safety, keep your eye on it to avoid an unwanted fire!